i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
