that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
