would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Rumble strips road head = magical
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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