Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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