I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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