I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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