Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish they made helmets for livers.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
