just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just pee around me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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