I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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