Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
