i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize