She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
