just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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