So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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