Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
