What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I want to be your penis for a week.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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