He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
