I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
