eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
