Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so let's talk penis.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
