sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
