god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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