So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize