So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
