So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
