What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
