like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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