Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize