He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
