So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
