her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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