I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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