who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
