Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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