It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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