Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize