CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
