STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
