and you said cock pushups were impossible
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i need some magic done to my vagina
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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