is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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