Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
