Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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