Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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