The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dick very happy bro
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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