doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
