I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
