Me too!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
