kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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