All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hippo gnu deer
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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