Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
