I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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