This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
