I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
