In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
