So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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