I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
