Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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