September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize