walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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