so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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